This afternoon is off to a rough start. We had to pack up our things to make it easy to move them while we deep clean. As a result, many things I need right now are missing. First it was an undergarment. Now it is my pair of shoes.

Somehow, this feels like a Writing in Loops entry moment.

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The Narrative Loop

What happened?

• My flip-flops are missing. I recently had to throw out another pair of shoes. They are what I have until I buy another pair of light shoes. My well-meaning better half packed away my flip-flops in the name of organization.
• My back already hurts on top of having to move a heavy-ish box. I was stuck trying to hunt for an undergarment that was not easily accessed. It turns out that my shoes are now in a box under that box.
• I had to clear off my side of the bed of heavy storage containers last night. I am already at a physical disadvantage, and the pain is intense.

What story am I telling myself about it?

• Well, my boyfriend didn’t think ahead when putting my things in tubs. That is the first thought. The next is that he put the boxes on my side of the bed last night. This caused that lift spree. Ultimately, I am in pain and mad.
• Then I tell myself that I should be capable of doing this myself. I am annoyed because I didn’t want my stuff organized by someone else in the first place. I should have been capable of doing it myself first. This would not have happened if I hadn’t needed help with the heavy things.
• Finally, I am mad that I am still sick. I don’t feel good, which has decreased my patience level. I am mad for his care in helping me. How irrational is that?

Is that story kind, fair, and complete?

• So, yes and no. I don’t think it is fair to be this angry at him. He didn’t do harm intentionally. He was just trying to get through a task and move on. That isn’t his fault.
• If I had been warned of his plan, I would have packed up my necessities. I would have known where everything was. That does fall on him. My physical capabilities are not his responsibility, though. He was trying to be helpful. It was also a last-minute decision on his part.
• The timing was necessary, even if poor. I can’t change or control the situation either.
• I am more upset about the lack of my organizational choice than I am about the whole situation.

If not, how would I rewrite the narrative with compassion for myself?

• I am still sick. I am also quite tired and in pain. This cocktail makes for an elaborate grouping of mood fluctuations. Lowered tolerances are going to happen, and my moods are still human nature. Even if I have a better understanding of why.

What truth do I want to take forward, instead of the wound?

• It is okay to feel irritated and mad about the situation. Saying something isn’t wrong. But, there is no need to whine at him about how the cards fell in this situation. I can just accept it and ask him to pick up what I need when he comes home from work. Either that, or he can get the box with my shoes in it for me. Then I can run up to get what I need. The world is not crumbling. It is just an inconvenience.

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So, that was extremely helpful. I feel a lot better and more rational. I do need to lie down, but I have a phone consult in an hour. It’s not looking promising.

In the meantime, that still benefited my need to decompress.

Skills Toolbox for the win with this!