This morning, my better half and I went to breakfast. We’re having an unnerving morning with some banking issues on his account. Being Sunday, we cannot fix it right now. So, we continued on to go for breakfast.

The server called him my husband.

I could feel the world icing up as he was smirking, yet frustrated. Neither of us is a big fan of the legalities of marriage. We aren’t religious, so we are quite happy with a partnership, government paperwork or not. It is just how we are.

Then, about half an hour ago, he was on the phone with a friend. His pal invited him and his “baby doll” to come over to his new home. They’re planning a little summer fun after Memorial Day. I was amused and told his friend that I am neither short nor small. I’m the opposite of a baby doll. He said he thought I was really sweet, so it was appropriate. That was super flattering.

I later told my boyfriend that I am better comparable to a Sasquatch. He did note that I said that, not him. 😂

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Last week was our six-year “together” anniversary. There have been ups, downs, and confusions. The longest we were not together in any way was 3 months. That aside, six years it is.

This is my longest relationship. For him, I am what came after his ex. He was with her for 22 years.

I am not his longest, despite being mine. What I do know is that we have a healthy, happy relationship. There is a lot of love, affection, and genuine care between us. Let me explain with an example…

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I hate being interrupted when I am talking. I can get outrageously mad. I have snapped and walked off more than once.

It has been a trend lately. In turn, when it happens, I stop talking and act like I was never saying anything. Usually, because I am done and hate repeating myself. In my mind, unless it was important information, then it is not worth repeating. I figure anyone who wants me to repeat myself because they weren’t listening should have listened the first time.

We disagreed about this yesterday. We don’t have blowouts, but we will talk through frustrations together. I expressed mine, and he expressed how his brain works. I explained that this is a big deal for me. I get that I am a self-talker. However, if I had his attention and he “squirrels” mid-talk, I’m not repeating myself. Active listening reflects love.

All morning, when he accidentally “squirreled” and derailed, he apologized. He caught himself and let me finish.

I’m not without grace. I know he is trying and cares about listening to me. I’m not mad he is trying, I’m patient. I accept, and we continue the talk. I don’t want 24/7 attention, just active attention when appropriate.

How many partners would ignore this specific need?

Maybe I should ask this instead…

How many partners would recognize the attempt to change that behavior? How many would use grace and patience just because they see the love behind the effort?

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After six years, we still recognize our needs and adjust. He for me, and I try to do the same. We are mindful enough of each other to have a beautiful relationship.

Not perfect, but still beautiful.