That Moment When Everyone Knows Someone Who Knows Someone… That Lives With Some Condition Similar To Yours. Let’s Talk About it!
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Introduction → When They Tell Us… → The Mindful Approach → What We’re Really Thinking → Etsy Feature → Burrito
People want to connect. They want to empathize with the situations of others. Unfortunately, they don’t consider how condescending it can feel to have someone with no knowledge of an illness try to tell us how it must feel.
Didn’t you know that symptoms are universal, and we must hold meetings on Thursday to discuss which symptom we will suffer from next?
When They Tell Us About Our Illness Without Personal Understanding
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Introduction → When They Tell Us… → The Mindful Approach → What We’re Really Thinking → Etsy Feature → Burrito
From our perspective, we experience:
- Someone who needs to “steal the show.”
- Someone who isn’t listening. They are just telling us what they expect our experience to be like.
- Another darn moment where we feel brushed off/unheard.
- Someone who must “know more” than our lived reality.
From their perspective, their intention is:
- To show empathy.
- To try and grasp a better understanding of the condition (following up on their experience with questions).
- An attempt to show us they understand because they don’t want us to feel alone in our battle.
Taking a moment to consider the different perspectives can defuse frustration on both sides. If you know their intent is good, then you can appreciate their attempt to show that you matter. If they know it upsets you, they may change their approach to learn more.
The Mindful Approach
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Introduction → When They Tell Us… → The Mindful Approach → What We’re Really Thinking → Etsy Feature → Burrito
Don’t get angry; use mindful assertiveness instead.
After all, you can always ask them to stop.
Think about it. While they drone on about Sam—or was that name Sally?—you can always politely step away. Simply say you’re not feeling well, you appreciate their interest in learning more, but don’t feel like discussing it right now.
Know what you just did? Set a boundary without dismissing potentially kind intent.
Are they busy asking questions and comparing your experience to that darn Sally—oh, shoot I think it was Susie—you can always share a reliable website resource that you know about the condition. Tell them you’re not feeling well or even if you’re busy, and explain that the website can answer a lot of questions they might have. Maybe even thank them for showing interest in your health.
Often they just want to understand it better, and you’re there in the moment. Setting a boundary doesn’t mean being unkind. Sending them to a trusted resource instead can improve knowledge on the topic.
Thanking them for caring reinforces your appreciation for their wish to understand.
What We’re Really Thinking
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Introduction → When They Tell Us… → The Mindful Approach → What We’re Really Thinking → Etsy Feature → Burrito
I practice mindfulness. It helps me grasp a better understanding of others so I can frame my reaction appropriately. With that said…
I’m not the only one with true internal rage, right?!
I thought we could all use a little humor while I share my internal thoughts in these moments.
- I’m so glad, Sarah, twice removed from a friend of a friend of a cousin, knows how to manage her condition. I’ll have to thank her at the next meeting for giving you a perception of my experience. You didn’t know we meet weekly to discuss the next symptom and the severity of them all at once? Oh, my bad.
- Oh my goodness! Thank you for hijacking my lived experience to share how I must be wrong! It is almost like symptoms and severity are set in stone for all to feel! I forgot to check the message board last gathering.
- Once again, I cannot share an experience without your list of acquaintances having them too. I’m sorry, I thought my frustrations were unique to me. Oh, that’s right, they are.
Etsy Feature of the Day
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Let’s Wrap This Burrito
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Introduction → When They Tell Us… → The Mindful Approach → What We’re Really Thinking → Etsy Feature → Burrito
At “Angela J Shupe: Probably Overthinking This…”, I share my lived experience with invisible and chronic illness to remind fellow wellness warriors they’re not alone. My goal is to turn struggle into strength, offering self-care tips, mental health reflections, and wellness insights that encourage balance and resilience. Every post is part of my journey to heal out loud and help others find comfort in community.
If you find value here, please like, share, and spread the word—together we can make self-care and understanding more visible.
Angela J Shupe: I'm Probably Overthinking This... 
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