The depression has been gnawing at my soul. You know, something poetic. Make up your own line, if you wish. I’ve been consistently broken and irritable for over a week now. I’m feeling overwhelmed by life, and the feelings are intensifying that effect.

I mean, think about it. Right? You’re already overwhelmed by things. Whether it is your workload, maybe it is chores, or just from socializing in general. Overwhelm alone can be managed with stress reduction in varying forms. I choose crochet and blogging. You’d choose what you wish. Either way, it gets worked through.

Adding emotions to the mix changes the game.

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I’m getting out of bed still. I’m doing things. They may not be the grandest of things, but I am doing them! I’m pushing myself to do little bits, relax more, and just feel life in a new way.

I had worked myself too hard trying to save Stitched Delights, the mental health/crochet aspect. I was also preparing to launch into small/medium enterprise (SME) business consulting. I wanted to do both at the same time. Despite the content flailing and draining my bank account.

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I sit here, with a migraine, pondering my choices. Should I have kept trying? Should I have never tried to maneuver away from product sales? What could I have done right? How could it have been saved?

As a business student, I assure you, there is a lot that I know I did wrong. I was trying to rectify that as I started to get serious beyond the fiber arts as a whole.

I do think, and I felt this impression early, that the market wasn’t directly the right one for me. I love the aspect of producing that content. Still, it isn’t something that usually sits behind that type of paywall. In that, I mean people can find all the mental health and fiber stuff they want for free. I wasn’t writing patterns. Those can be profitable at times and repeatable in sales. I think I was trying too hard to stay within the industry concept of crochet. Instead, I should have focused on the industry of content creation.

I’m not sure if that makes sense outside the realm of business logistics.

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For the record, I write this with my monitor and laptop screens turned way down. I am in a dark room to boot. I had to take a migraine pill to try and ease that up some. It is vicious tonight.

I get migraines when I feel a lot of internal distress. Even my body is telling me to slow down and smell the roses.

Okay. Okay, I’ll listen.

This is my slowdown, actually. It didn’t feel right when my personal blog went business because I originally just wanted to vent in public sometimes. Sometimes it was in private, with private posts that were more detailed. Venting and getting these things off my chest helps alleviate some of the distress I feel. Outlined writing with specific topic points helps distract me. It is also nice to release the hounds howling in my head, too.

I feel like I need to have organized thoughts with a beginning and an end now. I don’t always think that way. Brain dumping is also a skill and it can really relieve some of that extra pressure. I should add that one to the Skill Toolbox I keep on this page. I have a lot of skills I wish to highlight.

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I’m going to be okay. I actually just appreciate writing things and letting it be as it may. Just writing is a place in my life where I have always felt the most connected to myself.

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