Good morning from a miserable me.

I had my appointment at the pain clinic today. Here are the highlights:

• Planned epidural to alleviate some of the chronic pain.
• Follow up with a discussion about potential opioids for pain.
• A 3rd ablation to further reduce arthritis pain in my lumbar.

I am not keen on opioids for pain reduction. They are highly addictive, as most people know. I want to discuss intermittent use on days like today. I went to the appointment with pain sitting at 7/10. I left as a 9/10 because their chairs are evil.

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At one point, Angel apologized that I have to deal with this pain. I told her it is not her fault that I am old and fat.

This lovely woman jumped on that and told me that this is more likely bad genetics. My weight doesn’t help, but she believes I had a genetic predisposition for DDD.

My mother had back surgery and a cage placed in her back before 50. So, entirely possible.

My pediatric/family doctor is best described using many creative words. He was not polite or kind. He loved to remind me that my fatness was bad at every appointment.

I distinctly remember hating the man, but my mom forced me to see him over and over again.

I told him that my left knee was in a lot of pain. He simply told me to lose weight.

Guess who had a torn meniscus in her knee and had to have surgery on it at 17?

I firmly believed he was a useless human who barely passed the doctoral program. At this time, I firmly hope he is no longer practicing. His bedside manner was atrocious.

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Today, I understand that weight contributes to problems. Though, for the first time in my life, I was informed that weight acts as a contributor, but genetics are the cracked foundation.

I’ll keep pushing forward. I’ll do my best. I will not give up.