I usually dodge drama like it is a nope rope… then sometimes there is something so ridiculous that I cannot shut my mouth.
This is one of those moments. I could not stay silent.
I have seen a lot of ridiculous things in this world. I think the actual uproar over thank you gifts from small businesses takes the cake.
Who hurt them? Who made them so bitter that they are actually angry someone dared to show them appreciation through a small, free gift?!
It all started with someone expressing their reasoning for sharing small gifts in orders.
Like many small businesses, she will include a tiny gift as an expression of thanks for the order. It is her way of showing appreciation. Then her Thread was filled with people complaining and b*tching about it being a waste.
My exact words were:
“I love the thought behind it. It actually worries me that people are losing the ability to recognize appreciation in the small gesture.”
I currently stand at 60 likes for those words. Not my intent, but my point is simple:
Appreciation is appreciation. Rather than whine, why not consider the thought that went into it? Isn’t that what really matters?!
Thankfully, the blowback from speaking my mind has been minor. I do not wish to call out the two individuals directly. However, I will summarize their thoughts into some bullet points.
- It will end up in a landfill because it wasn’t wanted.
- Throwing away the gift is “extra work.”
- Feelings of guilt.
- Burdensome on the recipient.
Now, like the overthinker I am, let me break these down to highlight my thoughts on their counterpoints. Things I shared with them, as well.
No direct response from the counter side of the argument at this time.
It is wasteful & will end up in a landfill.
This feels like a personal decision. It does not detract from the intention.
My argument was simply taking a moment to recognize the appreciation. Not leaving a bad review because they “received something they didn’t want.”
That was the original argument, as it were. So, this counterpoint made me pause.
Are they this obsessed with avoiding waste? Then don’t waste.
Apparently, this concept is much simpler in my mind than theirs. You see, I am more than happy to share out the lovely things I cannot use. I give them as gifts effortlessly. They find homes. I promote the business without waste.
Rehoming, repurposing, and recycling exist. All the while, I appreciate the genuine kindness behind the act!
It is burdensome & unwelcome to dispose of the gift.
One of the remarks insinuated that a thank you card is welcome. A small gift is not. The argument was the gift being tossed.
Do they not toss thank you cards and notes, too?
Genuine acts of kindness are the same in both cases. they’re either tossing out the gift or a card. The end result requires the same effort.
But then the argument was guilt over doing so.
Somehow, the seller who included a small bit of gratitude in the order needed to be aware that this person would feel guilty if they had to throw it away. Especially if they do not have the spoons available to find it a new home.
That brings me to an important point in mental health that so many forget to consider.
No one owns your guilt but you.
The guilt they feel over throwing away an item is not mine to own. The seller doesn’t own their guilt, either. They do.
It falls on them to work through their guilt, and that is no one else’s fault.
So, again, if they’re willing to toss a thank you card, why get up in arms about the show of appreciation not being on their approved list?
There is a solution to all of this, you know. A simple one.
Rather than get their panties in a twist, anyone who does not like these little acts can simply make a request upon ordering:
“Please do not send any free items with my order, as I do not have a use for them. Thank you!”
Funny how this works, right?
A simple sentence can save them so much stress. After all, the seller is not a mind reader. Their guilt isn’t the seller’s responsibility, but a simple statement can set them free.
However, that would mean asking someone unreasonably angry over a kindness to think logically and outside their frustration.
That doesn’t look as promising.
I make the decision to see the good behind the act. I do this with many things. I can see why something was well-intentioned, even if others cannot.
I will end this with a direct quote from a response I made to one of the people who responded to me:
“There is too much negativity in the world for me to be angry over someone showing me a kindness.”
Angela J Shupe 
I was thinking…