Grieving The Loss Of What Was and Appreciating What I Have Now, a WordPress Prompt

There is a world of things I wish I could do more of every day. There is a world of things I cannot.

This might be where it is best to remind my audience that I am disabled. I have:

• advanced spinal degeneration
• chronic pain
• a leg that goes numb & buckles after standing for the shortest of minutes, and
• emotional struggles that add further complexity.

I had a taste of some capabilities when I was young. There was a time I was all work. After my mom passed, my emotional capacity gradually declined.

Then it just all crashed into a puddle that is me, the Angela you read here.

I have many strengths to my personality, but, yes, many failings as well. As the emotional being I am, a woman full of regrets over her faults, I have many answers.

They’re long and nearly bottomless.

There are things I regret having done, too. Things that helped me toward the degeneration I’ve experienced in my physical health.

Like all the factory work where I had to excessively stand & bend for up to 12 hours a day.

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What if I stop and consider the question from a standpoint of my current existence?

Let’s face it, if I go down that depressing rabbit hole, it is only going to drag my emotions through the mud. I feel like a failure naturally. Do I really need to help that along?

So, if I take the question as it is likely intended, in real time, there are plenty of things I wish I could do more in each day!

Technically, I can do the things I enjoy more because I cannot work.

That doesn’t mean my life is all free time, though. My full-time job is managing my health flares, napping when my capacity requires, and attending many doctor appointments.

To sum it all up, the one thing I wish I could do more of is simple: Write.

Didn’t expect that, did you? Were you guessing art?

I love writing. I don’t always have time. I meticulously edit everything, and that eats up a lot of time. I care about presentation. I care more about my spelling & grammar than you realize.

If I could overcome my perfectionism, I would write more often.

I have so many fun stories and thoughts I could share! I do know that the blog format is my preference.

I could create fun, short, but true stories about different aspects of my life!

Creating an articulate piece by taking a simple moment in time and turning it into something people would enjoy, too?

That sounds absolutely amazing!

If there is one thing I have also learned, though, it is that there can be too much of a good thing. For that, I am grateful for balance. It keeps writing enjoyable.

Have a beautiful day, friends. May you enjoy something you love even more today!