I think I just need to write without cause.
First off, I had to show off those flowers one more time! Last night, my flowers still had water in their “vase,” more accurately described as a Coca-Cola drinking cup that fit the purpose. This morning, they had no water in the cup at all.
Those are some thirsty-ass flowers!
I refilled my flowers with a little extra plant food added, and brought them over to my desk for further appreciation.
(I only use portions of the plant food with each watering to extend the amount of time the cut flowers are kept alive.)
It is hard to appreciate pretty red roses if they are not in view!
I haven’t been feeling good. I’ve been feeling a lot of exhaustion and finding myself needing naps frequently. Yesterday, I plopped down into a 3-hour coma.
What I find is that a nap, no matter how long I need to rest, always gives me a little more energy. I don’t get excessively upset, depressed, or irritable. It is quite funny because my lovely boyfriend will check in to see if I had a nap that day if I act like I need one.
He is often right, too.
PMDD exhaustion is so much worse, too. During one of those scheduled flares, I can sleep 12 hours a night and 3 hours during the day!
It starts those 2-3 days pre & ends when the cycle ends. I also find that I will have thyroid issues at the same time.
I mean, I guess my body just likes turning my hormone response up to an 11 & leaving it there!
So, yes. I guess we can say the depression has been mild, but the exhaustion has been intense. I’m just quite tired, and it sucks.
There is also that sensation that I am being choked, which is neither fun nor kinky. It is a full-blown sensation without the hand. I have a doctor’s appointment on the 15th, as my PCP wants to investigate further. It is an annoying sensation. It only happens sometimes. I am pretty sure it relates to my thyroid, but it also occurs when I have facial & neck swelling. Again, that tends to relate to thyroid issues.
My not-a-professional opinion is that my thyroid swells when there isn’t enough thyroid hormone present to maintain balance in my system.
I say swells, but I mean swells more, as it has already reached goiter status. It also has a 1.2 cm nodule hanging out on it.
Either way, the increased swelling is probably pushing that nodule into my windpipe. The compression causes issues. Then, poof, I am exhausted, winded, and in need of a long nap.
I have an urge to crochet, but await a delivery of more yarn.
So, my stuff is still packed up until my office/craft space is ready for me to move into it. That means the 10 or so cakes of yarn that I have for a specific project are packed. They’re somewhere in a row of bins. They’re under or around heavy stuff.
They’re not in my hands, ready for use. Let’s leave it at that!
I had to order more to work with until I can retrieve what I already have. Then I got on Michael’s website & learned they are BOGO 50% off. I love a good sale like any woman who was raised on a budget.
I needed to spend $50 for free shipping. Four cakes of this yarn came to $47.
It was like this cosmic joke from the universe:
Buy one more, Angela. But, oh wait! If you only buy one more, you’ll need to get a second to avoid wasting that 50% off deal! I mean, you’ll use the yarn anyway, Angela. Don’t fight it!
I assure you, I didn’t win the fight. Over $70 later, I had my free shipping and the half-off yarn I didn’t need to get free shipping.
What I do have is 6 cakes of yarn showing up on my doorstep today, when I only really wanted 2 or 3 to get by.
That was a good marketing move for Michael’s online.
*Nods at the impressive use of marketing through bargains*
This could have been avoided if I had purchased directly from Yarnspirations, but it would have taken around 2 weeks to receive. Michael’s has gotten it to me in a 2-day turnaround.
Going into Michael’s would have meant:
- A 30-40 minute trip to Battle Creek, and
- Having to shop alone without an electric cart or my wheelchair. I didn’t have someone to go with me & help me with the chair.
Again, Michael’s, well played.
I am still working on my scratch art, as you can see. It is progressing. I’m using a lot of tangle methods. I really just enjoy mixing things to create a unique perspective.
I’ve never been normal.
So, I love seeing tangles, zentangles, and line art by others. I will often buy pattern templates to inspire combinations. I rarely follow the pattern they make. I will become the Dr. Frankenstein of tangles & handlettering, instead.
I am doing that here with my WIP shown above. I’m creating based on feel. It is what this particular project is about anyway. The lines aren’t clean, I will go back in to clean them up some, but I am creating on feel & visual satisfaction.
I recently bought more templates off Etsy to inspire me, though! I picked up a lot of floral patterns. I love creating floral integrations in my work. If I see the base of a flower design, it helps me mentally formulate a simplistic approach that feels real.
I have the most fun when I can take something that would normally be overly complicated on paper and turn it into a recognizable set of lines that I can accent in my style.
On that last note, I should probably go do something productive. I’m still struggling with less productivity accompanied by the same level of exhaustion as before.
It bothers me a lot!
Have a beautiful day, everyone. I appreciate you!
Angela J Shupe 
I was thinking…